As you can see, my blog has made some MAJOR changes. I spent hours and hours finding the right picture to replace the old background.

What I mean is, I downloaded the skin then had to ask permission from servers and change the original background picture cos it just sucked. Well, not really, but I just didn't like it. It was an injured Genjo Sanzo (blonde guy at the top with cigarette, as usual) and he didn't really look that good. I'll be changing the background piccie often, too. Thanks to Ståle.

If you must know, the four in the picture are from the anime 'Gensomaden Saiyuki'. It's like Journey to the West except more modern and the monk actually smokes, drinks and wears sexy undergarments. (Not female ones, you idiot!)

In other news in Yanling-Ville, it's 6.03 am now and I'm gonna meet my aunt and cousins in a few hours. My bloody father woudn't let me go home yesterday to sleep and stuff and told me I had to type tenders and stuff. Right. Okay, I don't mind. Work has to be done.

But noooooooooooooooo. He had to have a bloody disagreement with that...that...woman. And I had to starve for the whole day. I was trapped in the little room for an hour or so starving. ;_; I could hear him crying and sobbing while talking to her. God damn it. He's so pathetic. A fifty-something year-old crying for a 19/20 person? Come on! And guess what it's over?

~SCENARIO~

Christmas party held outside the woman's dorm. Offered a glass of wine to drink.

"Don't you dare drink that! Only after you finish your work!" - Father

"Okay, sure" - Woman

"What's that you're sipping?"

"Uhh"

*random ramblings and mentions of the past. their Y!M conversation told me so.*

"I don't wanna come back to Singapore anymore!"

~End Scenario~

BAD.

Anyway, I think I'd better go sleep. I might wanna go home first later or something...

Night, Sanzo, Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo. <3

1.20 pm. I'll go to sleep after I finish with this post or something. I haven't gone on irc the whole day. Got scolded by the old man cos I didn't wake him up so he could talk to that woman before she went to sleep. I'm still in the office now.

I miss home. :{

I want to mess up the room in the afternoon then rush to clear everything before my mum comes home.

I want to look for food during commercials every night.

I want to sleep on my bed again.

I've only slept on it like twice since last, last week until now. ;_; I also wanna bake and stuff. Anyway, I can't wait to go home. I hope it's tonight or tomorrow. I can't stand being away from home any longer. I missed going for NPCC training yesterday and my Japan Hour today.

Other than my whining I don't seem to have anything else to say. Oh, yeah. I WANT A DIGITAL KEYBOARD. D: G'night, folks.

8.43am now. And no, I didn't just wake up or anything. I'm still awake. Wide awake.

Have you ever been sort of forced to be dis-associated with a member of your immediate family? I mean, not just by death.

Well, I have. From my father.

I told my sister about his little 'relationship'. I mean, now he starts calling the whore 'darling' openly in front of me! My second sister (a.k.a: er jie/earch) advised me that I should either confront him (which I can't do cos I might get beaten up by him) or not talk to him forever (well, not really forever, but just not often as usual).

Then my oldest sister (a.k.a: da jie) told me that I was part of the cost why the old man made my mum pay the money.

You see, whenever I get money from him, he could've used the cash to pay for the rental. But I think he still would try to wind his way outta paying. Anyway, I'm at the office now, that's why I can use the com at such an early/late hour.

His affair is getting out of hand. 'I love you~' 'I miss you' and not to forget, 'Darling' keeps popping out in their little conversations. Honestly, doesn't he feel embarressed saying that when I'm around? When I talk to him, he never answers me. Or worse, he answers me and after I finish talking, his head is in the cloud again. Once, it happened to me again so I stood up (I was sitting down) and said aloud, "I might as well talk to a wall." Whether he heard me or not is a mystery, but whenever I say that he doesn't listen to me, I'm on the verge of tears.

He rarely listens to me. He cares for the woman more than for me. I sprain my neck and walk around the office with my head tilted one side and announcing the pain I'm experiencing and he doesn't know.

The woman touches her neck and he pities her, offering to 'masage' her even though she's all the way in England.

He's doing almost ALL her homework for her. Whenever he volunteers to do something, I end up being the scapegoat. Why? Because I have to type it out. I have to send it to her.

He tells lies about me which aren't true to make her feel better. Like the other time I went to the toilet at the back and got a cuppa on the way, he told her that I was crying because I was too happy to see her. Come on. I was even happier NOT seeing her.

But the upside is that she's bringing back lotsa alcoholic drinks and she actually pities me, unlike my father. So I really don't know whether she's good or bad to me.

Come to think of it, I feel like I'm an idiot when I hang around him. Talking to myself would be more comforting and reassuring. Maybe I should listen to my sisters' advice and 'dis-associate' from/with him.

You know, even my mother doesn't want to talk to me. Whenever I want to, she always tells me to shut up and let her do her stuff or something. She's always doing something else. So, other than my two sisters who are currently working and my brother who refuses to talk to me after a quarell, I have no one but my friends to talk to. But then again, I can't bring myself to tell any of my friends each and every detail. So I have to turn to writing and drawing/sketching to sort of express myself.

The internet is just my way of escaping reality. But only for a brief while. I can't possibly stay on the comp forever. There seems to be nobody in this world I can really relate to, not one person. But, despite all this, a lot of people see me as a very happy, jovial person who doesn't give a frick about anything.

What you see is not always what you get, hun.

Anyway, I won't speak of this anymore or I'm going to be very depressed therest of the day.

*signs off*